Flower Power: Reminiscing + the Spark in Each of Us

I recently started taking the flower essence Comfrey which brings forth old memories your psyche may have pushed away. The thing I love & teach about flower essences is how they begin to work immediately in your actual reality, creating the mirror for change & growth. One of the first messages in my inbox I received was from my old co-workers who I used to run group homes with reminiscing and wanting to reconnect after all these years being away from the field. And it all started to make sense to me about this essence… I had sort of compartmentalized that part of my story. It was the field of work I “burned out” from and chose to pursue alternative healing. For many reasons, this alternative path was more harmonious to my tender & intuitive sides. 

After a while, dealing with the bureaucracy around the mental health system grew to be too much. A couple clients & other personalities had gotten under my skin, and my nervous system fried. So I pursued alternative healing for myself, and opened up this incredible magical box that filled my soul back up and others too. 

But these memories coming back are not just about the pain, but about the beautiful work we did with those clients. Our boss called us the “dream team”. And indeed we were. We worked together to love these clients in ways that were so outside the box. And she was a big motivator to do that (She was a #Pisces of course!) 

I ran a group home called 45 Broadway in Beverly and in that home lived 16 men. Each of whom had some major psychological label — Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar, combinations of both, Major depression, etc. And, for a while, helped to manage about 8 staff. I called it the Island of the Misfits as nobody knew where to place these particular clients so they gave them to us. To say they were all characters was an understatement. But, we loved each of them regardless of how they presented. 

My boss reminded me when I started an art group ( I am not an artist by trade) for the guys and for the first time she heard one of the guys share in complete sentences about his life. Later on, he eventually confided in me that being in the group home stressed him out and he wanted an apartment. We were able to place him somewhere quieter and he was much happier. I learned that art heals and transcends diagnoses. 

Then other memories started trickling back. How I used to find something, anything from the youth of these guys that was meaningful. A spark to them. One of them loved concerts, so every year we would save up some of his money and I would buy a ticket and we would see a concert together. We saw Bob Weir, Ringo Starr, Jethro Tull... he loved this! One of the staff also compiled all his jokes in a word document! I wish I could read it again. 

Another found his spark as the days he used to cook at the ski mountain. I asked him if he would like to learn to cook again. He very much did. So, we started him in cooking classes at Essex Aggie. I still remember the night he shared his first meal he created with me. He cooked white fish and green beans. 

Another loved the ocean and Pistachio Ice cream, so we would drive the van to Captain Dusty’s and sit by Singing beach and he would be content for days. 

I remember running into a client years later at the grocery store who told me that I helped save him from committing suicide.. Some of the memories are much more intense than others. 

And, many are downright hilarious. The time we teased the guys by buying fake lottery tickets and handing them out (they used to drive us nuts by not saving their money but spending it all on scratch tickets!) So we teased them a little here and there. Laughs were had by all. 

And, how every year we made their Christmas special by raising money or using petty cash to buy them stockings filled with stuff they each needed or loved. 

These memories are great reminders for me of where I came from. 

Many people in this world have not known me long enough to know how I spent most of my twenties. How, I built up a fortitude and awareness of human behavior that was deeper than most any school of hard Knox. That most things you could do or say aren’t even that weird to me, because I have seen so much! That I can see the wounds more than you think and read energy. That I can see when you are acting from love or wounds. But that my purpose is to help you find what you loved as well once upon a time and to get back there if you desire that. That’s always been my stance. 

It’s odd, having this social media bubble and people that don’t truly know you or what you have overcome, seen or done. But I realized through this essence that I haven’t really been showing this part of me. It’s such a big part of my story and what formed my perspective on healing, what drove me towards healing, and what helped me understand people so much. 

Running a business that I love (actually several) is like falling off a log compared to what I was up to back then. But my heart remains the same: how can we help as many people as possible while doing the least harm and the most good? 

Grateful for this flower essence, and how the Universe always delivers what you need to hear. And, grateful for the memories being shared by our dream team -  Dawn Marie Murnahan who taught us to fiercely love outside the box, and Ray Hennessey who gave it his all to help the addicts in our community starting in house AA meetings among many other gifts , Giovanni Marcello who helped the guys feel so empowered and find humor in themselves, Tracy Cassen who loved them all so fearlessly. So many others helped along the way… but, it’s nice to reconnect to my old self and old co-workers. 

I have some beautiful writings and stories about the guys. Maybe will share more in coming weeks or compile them.